

How can I feel OK when Dave is gone? And what I realized is that it's not just overcoming the grief and it's not just overcoming the isolation it's giving ourselves permission to feel happy.The “Lean In” movement launched by Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg is officially over. I danced and felt happy for a minute, and then immediately the guilt just flooded into my body. And I didn't really know what was wrong, and then I realized I felt OK. And then a minute in, I just started crying. On giving herself permission to be happy after her husband diedĪbout four months after Dave died, I went to a friend's child's bar mitzvah and I got on the dance floor with an old high school friend and danced to a song I love. People who are living with disadvantage and living in poverty face more to overcome and have fewer resources with which to overcome and we need to change both of those. Resilience is needed by everyone and hardship is not evenly distributed. And I really believe we need to do better. But I also titled a whole chapter "Make Your Partner a Real Partner." And it wasn't until I lost Dave that I really understood how hard that could be for someone who didn't have one, the same way Father's Day is so hard for us now.Īnd I posted this last Mother's Day and said I don't think I understood this deeply enough. When I wrote Lean In, I certainly thought about single mothers and single parents, and I wrote about that in the book. On how losing her husband made her rethink some of the things she wrote about in 2013's Lean In And one of the reasons I wrote the book and am launching is that the problem with that is that we then don't help each other when we most need that help, and I think that's when we can most come together. These things are uncomfortable, and because they're uncomfortable people are often afraid of saying the wrong thing and often say nothing at all, and then we have this huge elephant in a room following us around. You know, have someone in your family go to prison. You want to silence a room? Get diagnosed with cancer. And I think they were so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they hardly said anything at all.Īnd it's not just death which does this, it's really all forms of adversity.

A lot of that just stopped and people kind of looked at me like I was a ghost. My interactions before - I would drop my kids off at school and, you know, the parents and I would all wave to each other show up at work and everyone would chit chat. On how the people around her reacted to her loss
